“The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”
I had it all perfectly organized in my head. Everything down to the theme color, the pattern on the borders, the exquisite lettering i mean everything. I was envisioning my photographer with a sleek Nikon camera in hand taking beautiful pictures on a beach somewhere. And my geeky assistant following me around taking note of everything I said so it could be immortalized somewhere, like on a billboard or tattooed on someones’ arm. Okay, maybe now I’m pushing it.
There would be a big unveiling ballroom shindig with confetti, disco lights and paparazzi following glamorous people around. The ladies’ gowns would be stunning enough for someone to steal, remember Lupita’s pearl gown? The gents’ suits on point. Because it would be the beginning of something epic.
It would fall on my birthday so the combined celebrations would go on into the evening. There would be lots of dancing, making merry and “sundowner” music for the lovers in the house. Of course the speeches would have a place in all this. I mean, which party is complete without a toast.
That is a dream. A beautiful one. The kind you get when you’re sleeping under a freshly laundered pink duvet with red flowers. With your eye shield and ear muffs in place and after a hot chocolatey drink. Because those are the plans I had for this blog, oh yes you can laugh now.
It was going to be a serious deal with all the above mentioned shenanigans going on, maybe turned down a little but over the top anyway. I was going to launch it on my birthday having written 100 witty pieces in preparation and given it a fancy name like Gathoni’s Broody Pen or Gathoni’s Melancholy for the big day. You know people say sad writers have the best stories, so the title would be a reflection of that.
I was going to bring pizzazz into it, with short punchy videos on how to knit pompoms to enhance your home decor and how to make pancakes with coconut milk and grated cheese to engage my otherwise fickle audience. All this in the name of being in touch with what the readers wanted. But, no.
It was a random afternoon on a random day. I was excited about being in a new place and let it slip how much fun I would have with a blog of my own. So generous guy set it up before I could back out. Yani, he didn’t even let me breathe. I couldn’t start saying I was just kidding because it would have been very ungrateful of me.
So in my “Hello World” statement I went on to say how I was just a girl on a mission of finding herself. Then, several days later, I looked at it and couldn’t believe how lame it sounded so I put in a spiel about wit and interesting reads, which I hope you’re all enjoying so far.
The past three weeks have been a trial and error period. I still haven’t flexed my writing muscle well yet. I have a long, long way ahead which will be a full of surprises, discouragement, good and horrible times. I will document most of them while some will just be shared with a few close friends.
I will probably bore you to tears with my eccentric habits, endless whining and food obsession. Yet I will manage to make you laugh because I sound like someone you know and wouldn’t mind being friends with. I will pore over old posts I wrote and correct grammatical errors, change punctuation and work up sentence structures to perfection only to delete them a week later and write what was originally there. I will put up many pictures of Victoria and Boris (when I buy them) and tell you about the hours of meditation I have had looking at them. Which will be pure exaggeration by the way.
Then I will tell you about my landlords’ cat eating Boris and how I have found a replacement on OLX (fat chance)! I will go on and on about my mom’s new vegetables and fruits diet and my sisters’ devotion for watches and my dad’s old school habit of buying newspapers when everyone else is digital.
I will write about it because it’s the one thing that I can do well. It is something I ease into after a stimulating evening of bouncing around thoughts in my head. I will blog about it because it is an outlet of the life of stress and because I’m too disorganized to keep a diary anyway. It will be a place to tell stories, share gossip and engage one on one with you, you and you. Then you can tell me about your boyfriends’ and your monsters-in-law and we can have a good laugh. Then the gang can go howling at the moon one starry evening. Till then, keep reading and leave a comment.